Marriage is anything but easy – but when it’s good, it’s really good. All of the struggles just make the good times that much better.
Sometimes you have to laugh about things or else you’ll cry, and that very same principle applies to marriage much of the time.
Like if your husband always leaves the kitchen cabinet open (like mine does), no amount of bitching is going to change his habits. Instead, you have to learn to love the quirks – because let’s be honest, you’d miss closing those cabinets all of the time if he weren’t around to leave them open.
The following tweets highlight the reality of marriage in the most brutally honest and hilarious ways possible, enjoy.
If you are constantly seeing repeating numbers like 11:11 on your clock recently, Check out this link to learn their hidden meaning: http://bit.ly/MeaningInNumbers
WHY WON'T THOSE FOOTBALL PLAYERS LISTEN TO THE EXCELLENT ADVICE MY HUSBAND IS SCREAMING AT THEM?
— JPo (@Peauxtassium) September 9, 2018
According to the experts, there are a lot of things you can do to make your marriage stronger. Interestingly, eating healthy is one of those things.
According to a 2012 British study, people who eat more fruits and vegetables have higher levels of mental well-being. And, the better you feel, the better partner you will be.
My husband won't let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn't want it scratched or bent but I can take care of his children daily.
— bubble girl (@JessObsess) June 20, 2017
Another tip for making your marriage stronger is to give your spouse alone time with their friends. Maintaining your own social lives and being supportive of one another boosts your marriage.
Married sex is like traveling. It takes planning, the conditions need to be right, and everyone has to pee before getting started.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 13, 2019
Make a point to touch your partner every day. In the hustle and bustle of life it can be easy to forget to touch one another but it’s so important that you make physical contact every single day.
Physical contact creates the happy hormone oxytocin, and non-sexual physical contact keeps you feeling adored by one another.
me: Have you seen my keys?
wife: No. Did you check your pocket?
wife: Both of them?
me [mocking] "Both of them?”
me *finds keys* No
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 8, 2019
Don’t bring up old fights. Resolve them and then bury them to rest. Continually bringing up old issues will only create strife and resentment in your marriage.
If you are struggling to let go of an old issue, try journaling it or writing it on a piece of paper and then burning that paper.
My wife said she hides snacks from me so she can put them out when guests come over, in case you were wondering why I invited you here tonight.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) February 10, 2019
Do new things together as much as possible. Getting out of your comfort zone as a couple will bring you closer together. Go sky diving, give zip lining a try, or try a new restaurant.
Wife: is that what you’re wearing?
Me: I guess not.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 3, 2019
Try and be financially responsible – this one is easier said than done for some people, but it’s an important rule to making your marriage work. After all, money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage.
I appreciate my husband cleaning before we have guests coming over but he always cleans the weirdest shit. Our kitchen will look like a tornado blew through but instead of putting shit away this dude will be up in the attic scrubbing the walls like “iT hAs To Be CLeAn eMiLy”
— motherducker (@houseandhens) February 3, 2019
Talk highly of your partner – speaking badly about your partner behind their back is incredibly unhealthy for any relationship. Trash talking your spouse is a betrayal in its own right.
His/her family and friends will respect you more for talking highly of your partner, and in turn it will foster a healthier relationship filled with trust.
Before marriage, I would sit at stop lights for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) February 8, 2019
Keep the playful aspect of your relationship alive, don’t lose the fun and silly side that sparked your love affair when you first started dating.
i married for love
but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored
— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) February 7, 2018
Life gets busy but it’s important to put your partner’s requests at the top of your to-do list. If your wife asks you to move a heavy piece of furniture, or if your husband asks you to find an important piece of paperwork, try and get it done as soon as possible.
This makes your partner feel loved, heard and respected. Plus, it lets them know they can always count on you to help them out when they need it.
My husband ate all the cookies and called it a snacksccident. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.
— Lisabug BBQJonze (@Lisabug74) February 2, 2019
Accept that no one is perfect, and you will both have moments where you are less than your best self. When your other half is acting bratty or not so nice, just take it as a sign that they are overwhelmed and stressed.
Don’t fight fire with fire – you won’t get anywhere. Instead, just try and be extra supportive during these times.
Wife: I just vacuumed so don't make a mess
Daughter: Yeah, don't make a mess dad
Me: I'm not the one she was *drops sandwich* dammit
— ❄️sigh❄️clops (@aotakeo) April 16, 2019
Ask your spouse what they need more of – this lets them know you care about their needs and want to meet all of them.
Even if you’ve been together for years, there might be something they are craving more of, like cuddle time, conversation, or perhaps more date nights. You don’t know until you ask!
wife *opens First Aid kit*
wife: Why would you fill it with Cheetos?
me [bleeding] It was funny at the time
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 23, 2019
We put new shelves in the garage and have talked for 3 days about what a game changer they are. This is peak marriage.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 22, 2019
Wife: I want you to rake the yard today.
Me: Consider it done.
Wife: I thought you were going to rake?
Me: I thought you were going to consider it done?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 29, 2018
Instead of my husband asking me what I want to watch, he asks me what I want to fall asleep to & that pretty much sums up a marriage.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 27, 2019
Being a husband means that sometimes you are required to answer questions like, “What’s the name of the guy from the place who does the thing?”
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 30, 2018
Wife: ugh I feel fat
Me: please take your hands off me
— Melvin of York (@MelvinofYork) February 2, 2019
Wife: Do you want to come home at lunchtime today for a quickie?
Me: It’s pronounced quiche.
— Super Mark (@supermarkusa) February 5, 2019
[50 years from now]
*visiting husband’s grave*
“I wanted to let you know that after all these years I’ve finally figured out where I want to go to eat.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 25, 2019
I get my hair cut and colored and my husband doesn’t notice for an entire week, but I draw one penis on his face and he notices the very next morning.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 8, 2019
h/t: Bored Panda