Humans have this innate sense of building connection with other people no matter how big or small we want our circle to be. Our life may be composed of different bonds serving different purposes but everything converges into our ultimate need to be loved.
As you already know, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship may it be with family, friends or romantic partner. There will be times when the other person will hurt or disappoint you and that’s pretty normal in any type of interaction, however, if it happens frequently and having them in your life seems to cause you more harm than good, you owe it to yourself to take a step back and evaluate if it’s still worth keeping them.
Here are some pointers to help you decide when it’s best to let certain people go and never want them back:
They love to gossip.
Toxic people establish their presumed superiority on other people’s weaknesses. Although gossiping seems harmless at first as it doesn’t involve physical attacks, constant criticisms and spreading lies cause emotional damage to the subject of the rumor and taint their reputation in the public eye. If you think that being involved with a person who blabs a lot can’t do you any harm, you might need to think twice because chances are, they also talk bad about you behind your back. Moreover, the mere act of talking about other’s negative circumstances, especially false ones, poisons your thoughts, actions and overall character.
They can’t be trusted.
Strong relationships are built on trust that’s why it is important to closely surround yourself with people who have proven themselves to be dependable, honest and sincerely have your best interest at heart. If you can’t give them your full confidence when sharing your secrets or worse, have betrayed you for a couple of times already, it’s time to realize that this kind of relationship isn’t worth saving at all.
They bring you down rather than lift you up.
Do you know someone who seem to only notice your faults? Insecure people tend to be like that. They try their hardest to dim your light so they can shift the focus towards them. By consistently pointing out your flaws, they lead you into thinking that you are not good enough. If most of the time you feel worse after opening up your heart to them, it’s probably best to cut ties because those who are really good for you will encourage you and will be genuinely glad to see you shine.
They always take but never give.
Selfish people always want to be first and desire to get the best out of their relationships but seldom give, sometimes even none at all. If they remember to get in touch only when they need something from you and most of the time make you question where you stand in their life, you better move on without them and start investing in connections that are mutually beneficial.
They don’t have your back.
Having someone’s company in times of both happiness and crisis makes any problem easier to bear. If a person really cares about you, they will stick around to guide and support you until you’re able to get past your obstacles. But if they do the opposite and leave you behind at the first sight of trouble, you must not doubt kicking them out for good.
Their values differ from yours.
It’s impossible for two individuals to be very much alike in all things. You may find instances where you have varying opinions on certain matters and this is where compromise comes into play. But if the difference in your values is too broad that you always feel uncomfortable trying to change who you are in order to fit in their set of ideals, it may be best to uphold your freedom and honor your own values.
They drain you.
Some people leave you feeling exhausted may it be in the way they talk excessively or how they carry around a pessimistic attitude. Although it’s a kind gesture to be able to tolerate their needless chatter or chronic complaints, you must learn to set a healthy boundary to ensure it doesn’t cause you wasted time and energy. They must be able to understand that not everything they say is interesting and though everyone has their fair share of bad days, it is unhealthy acting as if they are the only one experiencing difficulties in life. If you often feel like your encounters only suck the positive energy out of you, it may be time to say goodbye.
While it may be difficult to cut ties with people who once occupy a place in your life, it is a necessary step so you can live in peace and pursue unhindered growth. It is important to remember that when it comes to choosing who to welcome in our circle, our well-being must always come first.