There’s a lot of different ways you can fall for someone. It may be in the way they look at you with their mesmerizing gaze, how they seem to think so much like you on various topics or perhaps just having that instant connection upon seeing each other for the first time.
Whether you are the type of person who sets strict standards in choosing a potential partner or simply lets destiny take charge of your love life, you must admit that being certain about your feelings is not an easy task especially because the intense feeling of liking someone is oftentimes confused with love.
Infatuation and love are both characterized by strong feelings of affection towards another person but what differentiates them from each other is their duration.
Though powerful, infatuation is short-lived. It starts and ends abruptly whereas love lasts for a long time. If you’re worried that you might be mistaking infatuation for love, read on and help yourself out of the confusion:
It all happens in a flash.
One day, you find yourself falling for this person and now, you suddenly feel like you’re losing interest. For fear that you might lose them if you don’t take action immediately, you are in a rush to make them yours that you don’t take time really getting to know the other person.
This scenario usually ends up in regret realizing that the attraction is limited only to their superficial qualities and how this leads you to assume their overall nature and significance in your life.
Contrary to what you see in the movies, love doesn’t happen overnight. It’s actually a slow but sweet process of engaging in profound conversations and spending quality time with another person in order to understand their beliefs, values and dreams and whether or not these align with yours.
Love is about building a deep connection with your person and staying attracted to this same person even after a long time.
You put them on a pedestal.
When you are infatuated, it’s easy to lose yourself in a person’s charm and idealize them to be someone perfect. You tend to put them in a place high above the others including yourself that it makes you blind to their flaws. You only see the good in them and completely ignore the red flags.
What’s worse is that since you see them only in their glorified version, you may not feel at ease showing them your true self. Within you is a desperate need to impress them by portraying a character that is totally different from who you really are.
Love, on the other hand, is appreciating your person’s positive traits and also accepting their imperfections. It’s recognizing the fact that like the rest of us, they also have their own strengths to be grateful for and weaknesses to improve on. If we truly love a person, we don’t merely get oblivious to their faults.
It’s having the confidence to open up the matter to them despite having varying opinions and supporting them in areas where they can pursue self-development.
Moreover, it’s worth reminding yourself that real love leaves you no room for any insecurity for acceptance goes both ways. It embraces the whole of you, even your not-so-good side.
Your world revolves around them.
When you are too dependent on them in making plans and decisions about your life, you make them the center of your world. You stop pursuing the things that make you happy as an individual for fear that they will disapprove of it.
You may also take for granted other people around you because all you want is to be next to this person every single time.
One good thing about love is it motivates you to embrace life and become a better version of yourself. Rather than restricting you to go after your goals, they genuinely want to see you shine and support you in reaching your dreams.
Love also allows you to nurture your other relationships, making sure that you’re able to make the most out of life by sharing it with other people especially the ones closest to you.
You are unreasonably jealous.
Feeling a little jealous at times is a natural occurrence in any relationship. A healthy dose of jealousy even creates more excitement and solidifies your connection with each other but if it is extreme jealousy happening frequently, it’s a sign that you are merely infatuated with the other person.
Your tendency to become possessive of them and wanting to control their every move may have its roots from your insecurities which are the complete opposite of trust and security that you shall possess when you’re in love.
Love is the assurance that the special bond that you have with your partner will not crumble in the face of even the gravest threat. It’s letting them spread their beautiful wings for the world to see and knowing that they have no one else to come home to but you.
You only crave physical connection.
It is common for couples to want to be physically close with each other most, if not all the time especially when the relationship is just starting out. However, if you seem to be concerned only in satisfying this particular desire and disregard the importance of having mutual willingness to explore the interests of each other, it’s a sign that you are currently on infatuation level.
When you spend time trying new things together or learning about the other person’s passions, it creates a stronger bond between the two of you. Likewise, having pure and deep connection allows you to be comfortable in the familiar presence of your person even when you’re not doing something grand.
You are solely focused on getting what you want.
If you are only interested in how your relationship can be beneficial to you, there is no doubt that you’re in a state of infatuation. It’s all about getting satisfaction from the other person without showing even a slight regard for them. It is when all your needs are met that the once intense feelings that you have for this person begin to fade.
Love is selfless, hence, it inspires you to also understand the needs of your person and make sure that these are met by working together and being able to compromise. It is the shift in priorities from solely your own to giving them the best parts of you in order to cultivate an atmosphere of shared happiness, safety and growth.
It leaves you feeling drained.
Fights are a normal part of a relationship given that it is made of two imperfect individuals with different backgrounds and opinions on certain things but when disagreements always happen because of unrealistic expectations and intense insecurities, you end up feeling tired from quarrels that seem to be more destructive than productive.
Couples who are really in love learn that it’s neither about winning the argument nor easily giving up when things get hard. It is opening yourself to change and working together to improve your relationship.
Though love is accepting, it corrects a person in the most gentle and tender of ways. If the connection you have is real, you will never feel alone. Instead, you will rest in the comfort of having a reliable teammate who lifts you up with all the positive energy they bring.
The extreme emotions that come with being attracted to someone can be overwhelming that’s why it is important to remind yourself to take the slow but sure process of weighing and discerning whether or not what you’re feeling is the real thing. After all, you must want to save yourself the trouble of getting distracted by the wrong ones and missing your chance for true love.