Despite high divorce rates in Western society, most people still want to wed at some point.
If you choose the right partner and get married at the right time, you can look forward to many happy years together.
Unfortunately, not everyone gets married because they truly love their partner and want to build a life together.
Getting married for the wrong reason is a sure-fire recipe for misery and increases your risk of divorce.
If you’re thinking of walking down the aisle, take a close look at your real motives.
Here are five terrible reasons to get married:
1. All your friends are doing it:
Peer pressure is a powerful force, no matter what your age.
Seeing your friends pair up and marry can leave you feeling lonely, left out, and unwanted.
Accepting a proposal from someone, even if they aren’t quite right for you, can help you feel “normal.”
However, in the long run, you’ll be stuck in a legally-binding contract with someone who makes you unhappy.
If your friends make you feel like an outsider because you aren’t engaged or planning a wedding, they probably aren’t the sort of friends you need in your life anyway.
On the other hand, in the excitement of planning a wedding, some people don’t realize just how much time they spend talking about the big day.
You may need to practice gently steering the conversation away from dresses, venues, and wedding cake.
Along with your friends, your relatives might also pressure you to tie the knot, especially if they are from a conservative background.
It’s tempting to bow to family demands, particularly if you tend to be a people-pleaser who will do almost anything to win approval.
However, your family and friends aren’t the ones who will have to live with your spouse!
If you are contemplating marriage just because other people want you to do it, it might be a sign that you should seek professional help that will help you become more assertive.
2. You think that getting married is the next step in your relationship:
Most of us assume that relationships follow a set path:
Dating, moving in together, getting engaged, and getting married.
It’s true that most married couples do follow this template, but that doesn’t mean you have to do likewise!
Marriage should be a considered decision, not just a box-ticking exercise.
Not all relationships last forever, and not all good relationships result in marriage.
You need to decide what works for you and your partner.
3. You feel like you should be married by a certain age:
Some people, especially women, feel they must get married by 35, 30, or some other arbitrary number.
These expectations might come from the media, family, or friends.
Frankly, these kinds of rules are absurd.
The best time to marry is when you have found the person who is right for you.
Your age is irrelevant.
Some people only get married for the first time in their fifties, sixties, and beyond.
4. You don’t think you’ll be able to do any better:
When it comes to selecting a spouse, never settle.
This is the person you are going to spend your life with, so don’t accept someone who isn’t a good fit just because you worry that you have no other options.
It’s better to remain single for life than live in an unhappy marriage.
The longer you spend in a relationship that isn’t right for you, the less time you’ll have to meet someone else.
If building a great marriage is one of your life goals, give yourself as much time as possible to find the right person.
5. You want someone to take care of you financially:
Do not marry someone for their money.
In the short-term you might be thankful for the financial security they can offer, but in the long run you will realize that your relationship lacks real depth and meaning.
Your spouse might also realize that you are only with them because you want a provider, which won’t exactly strengthen their love for you.
Instead, work on learning how to support yourself.
Rather than looking to your spouse for money or status, work out how to advance your own career and make your own money.
This may mean going back to school, retraining in a new profession, or starting your own business.
Getting married is a major life event, so make sure you pick the right spouse.
Don’t charge into marriage hoping that somehow your relationship will improve or that the other person will magically transform into your dream partner.
True love is worth the wait.