Some relationships turn sour in ways no one could have predicted.
On the other hand, there are lots of giveaways that show up early.
In fact, if you know what to look for, you can weed out unsuitable partners on the first date.
Entitlement, stinginess, negativity, and insecurity often manifest themselves quickly.
Watch out for these 9 signs that suggest you probably shouldn’t hang out with someone again:
1. They talk far more than they listen
Some people talk too much when under stress, but if your date delivers lengthy monologues, this isn’t a good sign.
It suggests they are self-centered or even narcissistic, and they are unlikely to prioritize you in a relationship.
Be particularly wary if they talk about how wonderful they are, their past achievements, and how much everyone they know loves them.
2. They talk about their ex
Aside from a brief mention, their ex shouldn’t come up in conversation.
If you find yourself listening to stories about “the ex,” your date hasn’t yet moved on from their last breakup.
Therefore, they are not emotionally available, and aren’t a good relationship candidate.
Moreover, by treating you as their therapist for the evening, they are also showing a poor grasp of basic manners and dating etiquette.
3. They demand special treatment
Watch out for any signs of entitlement.
For example, if they make life difficult for the waiter by demanding a dish that isn’t on the menu, you know you’ve found someone who thinks everyone else should cater to their every whim.
This isn’t the type of person who makes a good partner.
4. You get the impression that they aren’t giving you their full attention
You may have to go with your gut feeling on this one, because it can be subtle.
Obviously, if they are checking out other people then they aren’t focusing on you, which is a bad sign.
However, a faraway look in their eyes or a brief hesitation before every answer also indicate that their minds are elsewhere.
Don’t see them again; you need someone who wants to actively engage with you.
5. They complain about their job, their family, their friends, and the world in general
Your time is too precious to waste dating someone who likes to complain at every possible opportunity.
Don’t date a negative person.
They seldom change, and they will drag you down with them.
One day, they’ll be complaining about you.
6. They repeatedly ask whether you are having a good time
Someone who keeps checking in with questions like “Are you enjoying yourself?” or “Are you having fun?” is insecure, controlling, or both.
Either way, they aren’t what you should be looking for in a partner.
7. They ask you on a date, then split the bill down to the last cent
As a general rule, most people believe that the one who invites someone on a date should offer to pay.
Their date can then choose to accept their offer, or pay their own way.
Someone who asks you out but calculates your contribution like a math equation is plain stingy.
8. They make sweeping generalizations about groups of people
If your uses phrases like “Well, women are…” or “All young people do…,” this indicates that they view their fellow humans as stereotypes, not individuals.
This is a bad sign, because someone who is comfortable objectifying entire groups probably isn’t empathetic or open-minded.
They won’t want to get to know you as a person; they will decide which group you fit into, and pass judgment accordingly.
9. They make offensive statements disguised as “jokes”
Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes a joke, and some of us enjoy risqué humor.
However, if your date tries to share offensive views under the guise of a joke, particularly if they tell you not to be so sensitive when it upsets you, it’s time to cut and run.
This type of person will disregard your feelings in a relationship, and if you continue to date them, you will be miserable.
You won’t be able to change their opinions, so don’t try.
Should you give someone a second chance?
First dates are nerve-wracking, and some people behave a little strangely when they feel pressured.
If you notice one or two red flags but still had a good time with your date, you may want to give them another chance.
On the other hand, following your gut instinct is usually the best course of action.
Remember, if someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you don’t owe them any time or attention.
Put your safety and wellbeing first.