7 Ways to Tell If Your Lover is Keeping a Secret From You

If you’ve ever had a partner or spouse keep secrets from you, chances are there were signs that were there that you just didn’t notice.

It’s often hard to see when you’re blinded by love, or just don’t want to see the truth, but chances are an objective observer could have spotted some telltale signs. 

Today we’re going to bring you some of the most common signs that your partner is keeping a secret from you.

1. They’re suspicious of you

People who are actively keeping a secret from their partner tend to be jumpy, and are working hard to act like everything is normal.

It’s often these signs that are the most obvious- the casual attempt at normalcy, and the paradoxical distrust of anything out of the ordinary.

If your partner is suspicious of you, to the extent that they call you out for what they think are ‘signs’ of your duplicity, chances are they’re just trying to divert your attention from the real issue- their own secrets.

2. Their schedule is off, and there’s no reason why

People who are keeping secrets, like an affair or a new vice, are probably making changes to their schedule to accommodate their new habit.

The changes might be subtle, like coming home later, or suddenly going out to eat all the time, but when confronted, most people deflect the question, claiming that their schedule isn’t that regular, even when it is.

If they can’t or don’t want to provide you with an excuse as to why their schedule is changing, they’re probably keeping a secret from you. 

3. They defend other people caught lying

People who are confronted with the evidence of other people lying, cheating, or being duplicitous generally react with shock, and show compassion for the victims who were betrayed.

If your partner shows a lack of reaction, or attempts to downplay the severity of the situation, they may be hiding some guilt of their own.

If they try and make you feel like you’re overreacting, it may be an attempt to mentally prepare you for the revelation of their own secrets. 

4. They’re stressed out and can’t tell you why 

Everyone indulges in their vice of choice from time to time- whether it’s a Scotch, neat, at the end of the day, or a covert cigarette after a stressful presentation at work.

If your partner is indulging their vices, it’s not a big deal- unless there’s no reason for their sudden need for stress relief.

If they’re never without a drink, or a smoke, or they’re biting their nails for the first time in years, and can’t tell you why they’re upset, it may be because of something they’re not telling you.

5. The way they use their phone has changed

Our phones are our portal to the outside world.

We’d be hard-pressed to manage without them, and while most of us spend our time online checking out cute dogs on Instagram, other people are using them to hide their actions from their spouse.

If your spouse all of a sudden has a much different relationship with their phone- like carrying it around with them 24/7 – you should be wary.

Unfortunately, another common warning sign that your spouse is hiding something is if they immediately give you full access to their phone when confronted.

In some situations, it may mean they have a second, private phone hidden elsewhere.

6. They don’t want to you to do laundry anymore

Our worn clothes can tell a lot about us, and the way we spend our time.

They pick up scents from the air, dirt from the ground, and fibers from things we brush up against.

If your spouse suddenly insists on doing their own laundry, and hides their dirty clothes from you, there may be scents or marks on their clothing that they don’t want you to see.

7. There’s been a drastic change in the way they treat you

While there are always ups and downs in a relationship, it’s a major red flag if your partner suddenly refuses to interact with you in the patterns that are familiar to your relationship.

This might mean that they refuse to pick up phone calls, and will only text you during the day, or that they’re moody, upset, and jumpy when you’re together.

When confronted, people who are actively hiding a secret will probably try and deflect the question, or refuse to acknowledge that they’ve changed.