When you first start dating someone, you tend to be on your best behavior, more than willing to make compromise, and often polite to a fault.
But eventually, as time goes on, you start to get comfortable, so much so that you sometimes say things you don’t really mean.
Things you would never say in a relationship, when first starting out, but just slip out when you’ve been together for awhile.
While apologies help, sometimes these things can cause irreversible damage to the relationship, which means, if you don’t want yours to end, avoid saying these things at all costs.
“I told you so.”
Only small children should ever utter this phrase.
It’s a sign of immaturity, and makes the other person feel dumb. Say it one too many times, and eventually resentment will set in.
Being more empathetic, on the other hand, will help your relationship grow.
“You can’t do this or that”
The word “can’t” should only be used by a parent, not by a romantic partner.
In any relationship, there are going times where you wish your partner didn’t do certain things.
Like blowing money set aside for a vacation on an expensive pair of shoes, or spending the rest of the grocery money on a video game.
You will want to tell them they “can’t do that,” but the problem is that we aren’t in charge of our significant other – saying the word “can’t” just makes us controlling.
“You’re being too sensitive” or “calm down”
Telling your other half to “calm down,” if he or she is upset, is like asking them to get 10 times more upset.
When you say things like, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” it just invalidates their feelings.
People feel how they feel – don’t try to lessen that, instead, try to understand where he or she is coming from.
Anything that starts with “you always” or “you never.”
When you make sweeping accusations, there is no way to have a productive conversation – it immediately puts the other person on the defensive.
Don’t focus on what you believe are your partner’s shortcomings, focus instead on what you need in the relationship.
“If you really loved me, you’d…”
No one should ever feel pressured to do something he or she doesn’t want to do to prove his or her love – that’s not love, it’s a very dysfunctional relationship.
“I don’t care..”
when you stop caring about what your lover has to say, and even worse, verbally admitting it to them, it shuts them off completely from wanting to confide in you.
Which will only push them into the arms of someone else.
If you don’t want to listen to your partner, eventually, someone else will.