At some point, we’ve all been there.
Collapsed in the corner of our own mind–feeling completely and hopelessly broken.
A cruel combination of self-pity and self-loathing is, at one time or another, a dreadful time and space we may find ourselves.
Feeling broken is not only inevitable, it’s normal and it’s okay.
The Whole is Greater than the Sum of its Parts
Ever wonder what makes you, you?
The question can lead down a never-ending road of spirituality, philosophy, and head directly toward a seemingly existential crisis.
The understanding of what makes us who we are is not found in the people in our lives, the places we’ve seen, the money we’ve earned, or goals accomplished.
Though these things add value, they aren’t definitive.
Those very things that turned you into a puddle of tears are exactly what you’re made of.
Waking up day after day, putting on your big-kid pants is all that’s expected of you.
Since you’ve managed to do that and beyond, you are already legendary.
Being broken is definitive because of its transformative nature.
It’s a new boundary crumbled and created, a death-defying moment of strength and willpower.
Like a mountain, you are now a culmination of a bunch of tiny broken cracks and rocks. See yourself for what you are…beautiful.
The Temporary Teacher
Oftentimes, people are uncomfortable with the pain of others.
Many can barely manage their own suffering, let alone console someone else.
In order to return to their own emotional homeostasis, it may be suggested that you rush your healing.
Quick, hurry, stop being broken, GET OVER IT.
They may not mean to, but these words can be extremely painful when the timing is wrong.
Feeling broken is okay because it’s temporary.
Be determined not to wallow in your emotions, but don’t feel the pressure to come out until you’re ready.
Let the brokeness teach you and guide you, not destroy you.
Lessons take time, don’t rush.
You’ll be okay, even if it’s not right away.
Use Meltdowns to Release Energy
After the unexpected end of a 6-year relationship, I was undoubtedly broken.
Even months after the fact, someone would mention his name and I could feel the burn of tears crash through the corner of my eyes.
The first few post-breakup months were graced with plenty of meltdowns.
I would pour my lungs into my pillow.
Crying and screaming, the pain seeped out of my chest like black tar.
Until one day, the anger, sadness, and pain had been completely released.
If something causes you to feel broken, it usually means at one point it made you feel alive and happy.
Surrender to your brokenness and use meltdowns to let go and create a new reality.
Don’t Compare Brokenness
When you’re at your worst, shame tries to trick you into pushing people away–don’t.
Whether you’d like to admit it or not you need to surround yourself with love and support.
One way your brain tries to trick you into deflecting your suffering onto others is by comparing your brokenness to someone else’s experiences.
No matter how much we think we know about what another person has been through, we can never understand how it made them feel.
Just as you wouldn’t want someone to belittle your suffering, steer clear of thinking “they could never handle what I’ve been through”.
That’s just your internal fear trying to convince you that you, in fact, couldn’t handle it.
Feeling broken can bring out the ugliest of sides.
Instead of comparing, accept that we all have felt a level of low that has shaken our core and redirected our life.
Together we are stronger.
Becoming Emotionally Resilient
Alas, the phoenix rises.
Discovering the dark times don’t last forever, and (eventually) becoming grateful for the painful experiences is the shiny silver lining.
It’s normal to feel broken because without this feeling we would have very little emotional resilience.
Emotional resilience is created once we accept our brokenness.
Acceptance allows the heart and mind to not only be prepared but it saves you energy on wishing things were other than exactly how they are.
There is no endless journey like the one in search of greener pastures.
Accept each moment for what it is and use it to create what you want.
Don’t waste too much time, energy, and tears wondering “why me”.
Instead, consider “I was chosen” to experience this less than ideal circumstance and now I’m going to learn a valuable lesson that will improve my life from here on out.