Life’s far too short to settle for an unhappy relationship.
Unfortunately, it isn’t always obvious that our partner isn’t “the one.”
You may be tempted to brush off little signs that suggest you’d be better off single, especially if you are afraid to be alone or have already invested many years in the relationship.
Nevertheless, most unhappy relationships end eventually anyway, so the best approach is to remain realistic and watch out for these signs.
1. If you’re honest, you don’t find them very attractive.
A good personality can go a long way, and how someone behaves is certainly more important than how they look.
However, physical attraction is essential for a healthy relationship.
Someone who just doesn’t make your heart flutter is unlikely to be the right fit for you.
2. Neither of you are willing to compromise.
In a healthy relationship, both people understand why compromise is necessary.
You can’t have everything your way all the time – but your partner shouldn’t get to make all the decisions either.
If you or your partner aren’t willing to respect each other’s opinions and needs, the relationship is doomed.
3. The relationship is full of drama.
Do you and your partner often argue, get very jealous, or even keep breaking up and then reuniting?
Relationships that run on drama often conceal incompatibility.
After all, if the two of you could relate to one another in a healthy way, you wouldn’t be having so many problems!
You may have incompatible personalities, or you may create drama just because the relationship is empty and boring without it.
4. You suspect that they are an energy vampire, or are toxic in some other way.
Your partner doesn’t have to be happy all the time – that’s an impossible task! – but you should feel better about yourself and the world whilst in their company.
If they make you feel sad, drained, or as though you aren’t “good enough,” they may be an energy vampire.
That’s never a good thing if you want a healthy relationship!
5. They are reluctant to introduce you to their family and friends.
Someone who doesn’t want to introduce you to their loved ones is either ashamed of you, living a double life, or has a social circle that doesn’t fit with your values or personality.
None of these bode well for a good relationship.
6. You can’t communicate with one another.
Without solid communication, you won’t be able to resolve arguments, build a lasting emotional connection, or discuss plans for the future.
You’ll be left wondering where you stand with them, and always worrying what they are thinking and doing.
Communication skills can be learned, but poor communication is often a warning sign that a relationship isn’t destined to last.
7. One or both of you have cheated.
Whether it’s possible to forgive a cheating partner is a controversial topic, but it’s safe to say that infidelity often kills relationships dead.
In general, someone who cheats on their partner does not respect their relationship, finds it hard to control their impulses, and puts their partner’s feelings beneath their desires.
Think long and hard before staying with a cheater, or staying in a relationship that makes you want to stray.
8. Your major life goals are incompatible.
Two people can have amazing chemistry, but if they have very different dreams and goals for the future, the relationship will soon run into trouble.
Try to establish early on whether your partner wants children, where they want to live, how they handle their finances, and what their core values are.
If you spot any glaring points of incompatibility, it’s best to end things quickly for the sake of your own sanity.
9. You feel as though you are playing a role when you spend time with them.
You know you’re with the wrong person when you can’t be your authentic self around them.
For instance, if you catch yourself deliberately changing your speech patterns, posture, facial expressions, and even topics of conversation when you’re together, this is a big red flag.
10. You don’t feel excited when they contact you.
It’s unrealistic to expect that you’ll feel giddy with happiness whenever they send you a text, but the prospect of messaging or talking with your partner should make you feel good!
If you find yourself waiting a while to respond, or even rolling your eyes when they send you a text, it’s time to ask yourself whether they actually excite you at all.
11. They don’t make any reference to a shared future together.
If you are hoping for a long-term relationship with someone, be cautious if they seem reluctant to make life plans or talk about your future as a couple.
The right person will be eager to hear about your goals, because they will want to make sure that they are compatible with their own dreams.
12. Other people gently – or not so gently – point out that the relationship is unhealthy.
Do your family and friends suggest that your partner isn’t right for you?
Sometimes they might be wrong – after all, they aren’t watching your relationship unfold day after day – but if they seem sincere, consider the possibility that they have a point.
13. You just have a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right.
This is the most powerful sign of all. Your gut instinct is there for a reason. If your inner voice is telling you to leave, it’s time to consider your options.
If any of these 13 signs sound familiar…
it’s time to think about the level of compatibility in your relationship.
It’s OK to realize that someone isn’t the one for you.
Leaving a relationship is often painful, but in cutting someone loose, you are making it easier for both of you to find a more suitable partner.