Does the following situation sound familiar? You meet a guy who seems like a perfect match. You go on a few dates.
Everything seems to be going well. Then, he suddenly stops returning your calls.
He doesn’t read your WhatsApp messages. You realize that you’ve been ghosted by the guy you thought could have been “the one.”
How most women react when they’ve been ghosted
If you’ve been there, it’s not your fault. Any man who ghosts a woman isn’t emotionally mature enough for a relationship, so it’s no big loss.
However, when you’re in this situation, it’s hard to think logically. You might start thinking things like “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why do I drive men away?”
Instead of moving on, you spend hours over-analyzing his behavior. You might put your love life on hold, waiting for him to come to his senses and come back to you.
Most women take a long time – time that could have been spent having fun with other men – obsessing over a man that doesn’t want them.
To make matters worse, they often fall into the trap of sending messages and leaving desperate voicemails. In case you didn’t already know, this approach doesn’t work.
When someone has made it clear that they have no interest in you, trying to engage with them is a waste of time. You cannot change their feelings.
How strong women handle rejection
When a strong woman realizes that a guy just isn’t into her, she makes it a priority to move on. She doesn’t sacrifice her dignity by bombarding him with calls and messages.
She allows herself to feel sad and disappointed for a few days, then reminds herself that there are other guys out there who will be a better match.
Strong women are unafraid to pull the plug on a relationship if they feel undervalued. For example, if a strong women is dating a guy who has stopped making an effort during their dates she takes a step back and appraises the situation.
She takes stock of the relationship, and ends it gracefully if a man isn’t meeting her needs.
There’s no need to wait for a man to cut you off or dump you. If it’s not working out, you need to put yourself first and leave. You don’t owe him a lengthy explanation.
A brief face to face meeting or phone call is enough. Thank him for your time together, explain that you don’t feel that the relationship has long-term potential, and wish him well for the future. It really is as simple as that.
Strong women approach dating with an attitude of abundance. They know that there is someone out there for everyone. If one man decides that he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship, there are still dozens more she can date.
Even if you did force him to talk, you may never get answers
Lots of women are obsessed with the idea of “closure.” They try to get answers from the man who rejected them. Unfortunately, most men have no interest in dissecting a relationship with their exes, especially if the relationship was short-lived.
Not only that, but they may not be able to answer you anyway.
He might know that he didn’t want to be with you, yet struggle to articulate why. Attraction and human behavior are both somewhat mysterious.
Think about it. You probably don’t understand your own motives some, or even most, of the time. Why assume that he has the self-awareness needed to give you the answers?
Remember, if he’s so emotionally immature that he abandons you without explanation, he probably isn’t capable of an honest conversation about his innermost feelings anyway.
It’s up to you to find the strength to move on
The good news is that the power to move on lies in your hands. You don’t need anyone’s permission or heart-to-heart conversations with an ex.
Choose to look forward, not back, and reframe the experience as a chance to learn how to cope when relationships don’t work out as you wanted.
The media likes to glorify people and characters who refuse to give up on love. We grow up surrounded by warped ideas about commitment. Films, TV, novels, and magazines all urge us to fight for our relationships, even if they aren’t going well.
Don’t fall into this trap. Strong women know that this portrayal of relationships is unrealistic, and that real love is a two-way street.
Follow their example, and you are much more likely to find someone who truly cares for you.