I’ve already been in two weddings that ended in divorce – one ended less than a month after they returned from their honeymoon, the other hardly made it to their one-year anniversary. Ironically, it was the SAME wedding photographer at both weddings.
Which got me thinking – I bet a lot of wedding photographers hired to capture the happiest day of a couple’s life find out that the end to that ‘happily ever after’ wasn’t so happy.
Turns out, they see it happen so much that they’ve identified key signs that indicate a couple won’t make it very long – and these signs show up as early as the engagement photo shoot, and oftentimes on the wedding day.
Your photographer gets a backstage seat to your love affair. They create the polished happy-looking photos, and so they know what really happened behind the lens. One photographer shared how she had to photoshop a smile on the groom!
This AskReddit thread is full of the juicy gossip –wedding photographers, planners and other insiders are spilling the secrets that spell out divorce, alongside some horrifying stories you won’t believe.
1. The Silent Partner
Both the bride and groom should be ecstatic on their big day. After all, this is one of the most important days of your entire life. So, when one partner is silent and shows little to no emotion, it’s often a sign that trouble lies ahead.
Ex-photographer Compulsive-Gremlin described a wedding where the bride was overly excited and chatty.
Meanwhile, the groom “barely said ten words to anyone during the ceremony or reception afterwards.” Their matrimony ended about one year after it began.
2. Arguing in Iceland
If the couple is arguing through their engagement photos and in front of their photographer, chances are they aren’t going to make it.
Reddit user Aeonasphere shared a story about a couple who flew all the way to Iceland for a romantic photoshoot.
“Most of our plans fall through because they start arguing,” the photographer dished. “In front of a beautiful, solitary glacier. For two hours.”
Long story short, the couple split one month before the wedding.
3. Cake Cutting
The way the cake cutting unfolds can tell a lot about a couple and how their love will hold up over time.
“Sometimes one of them (usually the groom) will force cake all over the others face and embarrass and upset them,” photographer MorgaseTrakand writes. “I’ve seen this happen a handful of times and all of those relationships that I have kept up with have ended in a divorce.”
4. Watch Out for the Popular Country Songs
The song you choose to dance to on your big day could play a big role in your future. According to photography assistant sbashe5, couples who dance to top-charting country songs are more likely to get divorced.
5. Apologizing for the Other’s Behavior
The wedding planning process is incredibly stressful, even for the strongest couples.
Wedding planner AlmousCurious has noticed a few signs that couples don’t have what it takes to make it, including: when one partner constantly apologizes for the other’s behavior, the pair are unable to stick to decisions, or when one partner overrides all the decisions.
On the other hand, couples who are respectful to one another and their wedding staff and are able to make decisions together have a solid relationship on the rise.
6. The Symbolism in a Sand Ceremony
KingLesbian was witness to a sand ceremony where the bride was supposed to pour black sand into a vial, and her husband was supposed to pour white sand into the same vial. The goal was to pour at the same time so that the sands mixed together and created a gray sand.
Instead, “as they poured they could not sync with each other at all, one would slow down the other sped up and vice versa, they ended up pouring near perfectly stratified black and white layers.”
As their sand ceremony predicted, they weren’t a perfect match and they got a divorce after two years.
7. Fighting On The Wedding Day
It’s obviously a bad sign if you can’t stop fighting long enough to enjoy your wedding day – but photographers see it all!
Photographer golden-lining shared a story about a couple who was so angry at one another on their wedding day that they wouldn’t even look at each other. The photographer actually had to photoshop a smile on the groom’s face in a few photos!
8. Selfish or “Fluffy” Wedding Vows
According to wedding video editor codecduck, couples who write “fluffy or almost selfish” vows, as well as vows that are too short or unemotional, signal a big red flag.