Becoming an adult is an eye opening and jarring process.
Up until we are on our owns and out from our family’s roof, you never really realize just how much of a support system your parents were.
And this can really shock people. I know it definitely did for me.
There so much you rely on your parents for that once that support system is taken away, your entire reality changes.
And if you think that this is an isolated situation that you feel alone in, don’t worry. You’re not.
The answers came flooding in and they were all too relatable.
From the hilarious to the heartbreaking, there are so many relatable moments in life each of us go through in that transition from childhood to adult hood that we are simply not prepared for.
We’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite responses, keep scrolling down to read through them all.
And leave a comment below of some of the parts of being an adult you weren’t prepared for either.
Your parents getting noticeably older each time you see them
There’s always something you have to do. Like even when relaxing there’s things you really should be doing.
The first time I got an ear infection so bad that it gave me vertigo. I made it to the bathroom before I threw up but missed the toilet, and I couldn’t just crawl back into bed and sleep it off. I had to clean it up first, because there was nobody there to clean it up for me.
Not having someone to help you when you’re sick really sucks.
Having all my close friends slowly drift apart
How incompetent everybody is.
When I was a child adults always had the answer. You would look at somebody in their thirties and they knew had their shit together, they had a house, a partner, 2.4 kids, a good career. Basically, adults knew what they were doing everything was under control.
Now I’m an adult, everything is a shit show. I’m the person who allegedly knows what they are doing, half the time I’m just making stuff up. EVERYONE is doing this. Our whole society is held together by well meaning people making guesses, and duct tape.
It is terrifying.
Paying attention to what makes “healthy” poops
Interviewing for jobs that I don’t really want
Burying Dad, had to take charge but had mum and brother to take the strain and share the process.
Burying Mum.. on my own, no family to help. Going through all mum’s belongings, and realizing that I’m the only one left that these trinkets mean anything to.. that they’ll end up in the bin when I’m gone.
Realizing I’m an orphan, on my own in my adopted country.
The sheer amount of bureaucracy involved in everything
That’s how they get ya’.
Anything you want to do in life, you’ve gotta fill outa form.
They’ve got forms for everything.
You fill it out, ‘t goes up-stairs, and then they make you fill out a new form, just to confirm it was you who filled out the first form.
And if you ever want to stop filling out forms, well…
There’s about five diff’rent forms for that.
Probably that fact that I still feel like a kid, definitely don’t have the sense of wisdom and maturity I expected.
Having my wife (best friend, partner, other half) die at 47. Leaving me alone to continue on.
Planning out a week’s worth of meals before going to the grocery store and then not wanting to eat the meal I planned but doing it anyway
Having a job I don’t like but can’t quit because it pays well and wouldn’t be able to get the schedule and paid leave anywhere else.
I always assumed all grownups had jobs they loved, found out what they wanted to be and lived happily ever after.
The strong visceral wish for my parents to take care of me when I’m really sick or really sad. Not to the extent that I do anything about it, but how much I ache for that memory of how well they always cared for me when I lived with them. I had a terrible cold a few weeks ago and my spouse and kid were terrific, and friends and coworkers all kind and helpful, but I just kept thinking, if only Mom or Dad could cover me with a blanket and bring me soup and tell me not to worry about adulting for a while.
I’m lucky that they are both alive and still love to nurture me the best they can from a distance — and as much as is appropriate for a 37-year old 🙂
Price of groceries
Laundry. The chore that is literally never finished.
The fact that life can just change. Not gradually, and not with someone like a parent helping you through it. Just come to an abrupt halt and shoot off in another direction.
For years I’ve been freelancing as an artist; doing children’s books, animating for video games, all sorts of stuff. Then my partner and I have a kid, sure it shakes things up a bit but while he’s in school I can still work on that stuff while my partner works.
Then five months ago she has a stroke. And now she’s blind. She can’t work, and neither can I because I’m at home full time either caring for her or our son or both. I don’t have time to hang with friends anymore as I need to organise a carer to come over when I’m out and after-hours on a weekend is prohibitively expensive ($100+ per hour).
Government Medicare gives us almost enough money for rent, and the only reason we’re still eating is through the generosity of friends and the fact that my partner had her bank account automatically shave some money off her pay to put into her savings.
But there’s no going back. Her sight is gone. For good. And her mobility is shot as well. So we’re looking at me being full time care for at least a few years. If not longer.
The worst part is I don’t feel like I can complain. Because at least I can still see.
The fact that my progress in life, emotional, mental and physical, is completely and wholly my responsibility. No one really pushes you to do the right thing – it’s ridiculously daunting.
Not having other adult friends, or even potential adult friends close at hand.
When you’re a kid, “friends”, or even potential friends, are almost always close. Close by proximity. Close by in the same class. Close by at the same stop. Close by at the same swim meet.
When you’re an adult, you’re more closed off. By your commute. By the train. By the bus. By the pre-school schedule. By the 37.5 hours a week that you close yourself off from the ones that actually matter the most to you so that you can in turn support the ones that matter the most to you so you close yourself off from the ones that actually matter the most to you so that you can in turn support the ones that actually matter the most to you….
Tons of things, but the one thing I never heard anyone else say – maybe they really don’t have it or just don’t want to say – is having to figure out how to bolster yourself, inspire yourself and reward yourself. As kids, we get parents, teachers, etc who (hopefully) encourage us, praise us for achievements, celebrate with us. You grow up and half the time your declaration of “hey, I did a good job with (whatever)” is met with an eye-roll or variations of ‘oh, did you want a cookie?’ I try to celebrate things and if I hear something good, no matter how insignificant it might seem to most people, has happened for someone else, I congratulate them or cheer them on. It just sucks that I don’t know more people who react the same way.
You can major in what you love, sure, but that doesn’t mean it will pay the bills.
Things that used to be easy like staying skinny or drinking 8 beers then waking up at 6 AM become more difficult. You will have to start worrying about things like your blood pressure and your fiber intake.
You have to go to work pretty much every (work)day. I was not prepared for the monotony of it.
Some of your really good friends that you used to have adventures with will become stuffy wine mommies who try to sell you Lulemon and tired old dads who act like they hate everyone but really kind of hate themselves
It looks like everyone else suddenly dresses dumb but it’s actually you still dressing like you did in college
Everything goes. You lose friends, family, time. Hobbies fall away and things that once brought joy now take up space or gets broken and has to be disposed of.
Losing your sense of self, losing sight of what you thought your life would be.
how expensive it is to live/exist and the fact that everyone lives outside of their means
Your path to independence is filled with a loss of people. There are people you sincerely care about that will just disappear because of distance and growth in different directions. When I was a kid, I was afraid of losing everyone to death just because that was such a set out end. Now, I’d say the older people in my life that I’ve maintained friendships kinda just sail off into the sunset and its a good final resolution.
People my age though, it just sometimes feels like whatever connection we had became meaningless overnight. You can contact them all you want, try to fight for it as you can, but that’s gone.
I figured that at some point I’d actually feel like an adult, but I still feel like a 19 year old who’s just faking the funk. Also sleeping “wrong” is a thing now. Didn’t see that one coming.
My dog died on my birthday, in the hallway, in front of my 11 year old daughters room.
Husband was out of town working.
Dog weighed 80 lb, absolutely more than I am capable lifting.
I sat on the floor in the hallway, crying, wishing I still had parents to call.
The crushing realization that no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to stop this body from slowly decaying. Sure I can slow it and what not but eventually im gonna be so old that I cant hold back my shits.
That common quip about how money can’t buy happiness?
The price of cheese