How To Let Go Of A Toxic Partner When You’re Still In Love With Them
We all know that staying with a toxic partner is a surefire path to misery, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to let go.
If you are in love with someone, your first instinct may be to forgive them when they hurt you, and just hold on and hope that things will get better.
Your head may be telling you to leave, but your heart wants you to stay.
Why Love Is Blind
Maybe you fell in love with someone who seemed kind and caring at first, but then turned out to be toxic and abusive. You aren’t alone.
Try to take comfort in the fact that most of us have our share of unhealthy relationships. There’s no instruction manual when it comes to love; lots of us make mistakes.
Attraction is a mysterious process. You may recognize that someone is bad news, yet feel drawn to them regardless. Your friends might have warned you about them, but something compelled you to stick with your new relationship.
Sometimes, it’s impossible to understand what brings two people together, and you need to accept that you might never know. Don’t berate yourself for falling for the wrong person.
Why It’s So Tough To Walk Away
Perhaps your partner was charming when you started dating, and made you feel like the luckiest person on earth. There’s no feeling quite like falling in love.
In the whirlwind of a new romance, we tend to ignore early warning signs and red flags such as a quick temper or jealousy.
When the honeymoon period wears off, both members of a couple start to show their true personalities. In a good relationship, they start getting to know and appreciate one another in a deeper way. In a toxic relationship, destructive behaviors and traits bubble to the surface.
You may discover that, when your partner is no longer trying to impress you, they resort to verbal abuse when they don’t get their own way, or that they don’t give you any privacy.
Unfortunately, it takes only a few months – in some cases, just a few weeks – to become attached to someone. This means walking away isn’t simple, even when you know that they treat you badly.
Understand That There’s Someone Far Better Waiting For You
To free yourself from the relationship, you need to realize what it’s costing you to stay. Taking a new perspective can give you the strength you need to move on.
In staying with your toxic partner, you are sabotaging your chances of finding meaningful love and a healthy relationship. You need to believe that the world is full of people who can offer you so much more than an unsatisfying, soul-sucking partnership.
Yes, ending a relationship is hard, but standing in the way of your own happy ending is a greater tragedy. Clinging on to something that won’t work is a waste of time.
Accept That Your Partner Probably Isn’t Going To Change
It’s a hard truth to swallow, but you need to accept it – you cannot afford to hang around in the hope that they are going to see the error of their ways.
Yes, people can change, but they need to make the decision for themselves.
You can’t force your partner to be a better person, to stop abusing you, or to treat you with respect. In fact, the more you push them to change, the more they might rebel.
Don’t waste your time with someone who plays these kind of games. Once you appreciate this simple truth, it becomes easier to move on.
Accept The Pain
As we all know, life isn’t an easy ride. We all have to experience pain and suffering, and there are few things more excruciating than a traumatic breakup. You’ll need time to process the end of your relationship, and that’s perfectly okay.
Well-meaning friends may encourage you to get over your ex by dating other people, but wait until you feel ready to meet someone new. Of course, you can also stay single and focus on your personal growth.
Keeping tabs on your ex or trying to stay “friends” will only result in more anguish. Implement the no contact rule and stick to it.
Remember, you are strong. Millions of people have survived toxic relationships, learned from them, and found love with new partners.
Sit with your emotions, and accept that you will feel an emotional attachment to your ex for a while. One day, you’ll be able to draw on your experiences and use them to build a relationship that nurtures your mind, body, and soul.