If you know a confident woman, you might have wondered how they came to be so self-assured.
The answer is simple. These women have learned 11 key lessons that shape their character and help them move through the world with self-belief, integrity, and determination.
If you sat a confident woman down and asked her to pass on her wisdom, she’d tell you the following:
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1. You are so much more than your appearance.
Let’s face it – we all like to look good, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Unfortunately, lots of us have been told that a woman’s appearance is more important than her personality, beliefs, and actions.
Strong, confident women take a healthy pride in their looks, but they know that they have a lot more to offer the world than a pretty face or attractive shape.
2. The first person you have to care for is yourself.
Many women believe that they have to put their own needs aside.
They think that they must make their partners, children, extended family, friends, and even colleagues a priority over their own self-care.
Confident women know that it’s perfectly OK to take time for yourself.
If someone tries to make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself, they aren’t worth your time.
We all deserve an opportunity to relax and recharge.
3. You don’t need to rely on anyone else for happiness.
When you look to other people for happiness, you give away your power.
For example, if you depend on the approval of your friends to make you happy, you’ll soon become miserable if they move away or end the friendship.
On the other hand, if you know how to entertain and validate yourself, you will never have to cling to others again.
This means that you can afford to cut ties with toxic people and lead a healthier, happier life.
4. You can find satisfaction in your career as well as your relationships.
Women tend to place a lot of emphasis on their relationships, especially romantic and sexual partnerships.
It’s natural, as a human being, to look for companionship and love.
However, it’s never healthy to focus solely on your relationships at the expense of other areas of your life.
Make it a goal to chase professional satisfaction along with a great relationship.
Remember, high-quality men don’t find relationship-obsessed women that attractive anyway.
5. If your relationship ends, it doesn’t mean you are defective, ugly, or weak.
Don’t fall into the trap of assuming that a failed relationship means that you are undesirable or destined to be alone.
Some relationships just don’t work out.
Two people can be kind, attractive, smart – and simply incompatible!
This principle also applies to friendships.
Take a moment to feel grateful for the good times, give yourself time to heal, then find someone else who is a better fit for you.
6. You are not responsible for anyone else’s behavior.
The only person you can control is yourself.
Although you can say or do things that make it more likely someone else will get upset, only they are responsible for their actions.
For instance, if someone claims that you “made them mad” so they had no choice but to abuse you in some way, they are talking nonsense – their behavior is up to them.
Do not make excuses when someone else acts like a jerk.
Confident women own up to their mistakes, but they refuse to take the blame for someone else’s.
7. Gossiping and backstabbing is beneath you.
Gossiping might be fun for a few minutes, but talking about other people behind their back is a surefire way to lose friends in the long run.
Confident women rely on their personalities and high-quality conversation when building relationships with others.
They don’t try to build so-called “friendships” based on rumor and hearsay.
8. It’s good to say “No” sometimes.
Because most women want to be liked, they are reluctant to say “No.”
However, to be a truly strong woman, you need to learn that the world will not end if you take your own wants and needs into account.
If helping someone out would come at a high cost to your own wellbeing, say “No”!
9. If you don’t take charge of your own destiny, others will try to control you.
Ask any confident woman where she wants to be in five or even ten years’ time, and she’ll probably be able to tell you.
Because these women value themselves and their own time, and plan accordingly.
They realize that if you don’t have your own goals and dreams, someone else – whether that’s a partner, boss, or even parent – will take the reins on your behalf.
10. It’s much better to appreciate other women rather than tear them down.
You’ve probably noticed that the media often portray women as catty, petty, and jealous.
Unfortunately, there is a grain of truth to this stereotype – a lot of women seem to enjoy trying to make others feel small in order to boost their own self-esteem.
Strong, confident women don’t do this.
They are secure enough in their own identity that they can simply appreciate the success, intelligence, and beauty of other women without undermining them in any way.
11. You can be strong and independent, yet still ask for help when you need it.
Women are perfectly capable of looking after themselves, and that’s great!
Unfortunately, some take it too far and refuse to ask for help when in a crisis.
Don’t let your pride get in the way of getting the help you need.
It takes a lot of time and effort to mature into a confident woman, so don’t worry if you haven’t yet learned these lessons.
Keep working on yourself, have faith in your abilities, and let yourself become the woman you were born to be.